The King Of Horror
by tmntyyh
Summary: "Takin' a slow breath and lettin' out an ungodly wail, she plunged the knife into her face-" ...The men of Avalanche tell horror stories in the Nibelheim Manor to see who will become the King of Horror. Warnings are inside.


Title: The King Of Horror

Summary: "Takin' a slow breath and lettin' out an ungodly wail, she plunged the knife into her face-" The men tell horror stories in the Nibelheim Manor...

Warnings: Gore, swears, horror, slight yaoi...kind of, uhh...think that's it...

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This idea just came to me in the shower last night; I'm odd, leave me be.

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><p>"And as he walked out of the shower..." the soft voice murmured, glowing blue eyes watching his bored and amused audience, "his eyes widened at the sight of a bloody hook!"<p>

"A bloody hook?" Nanaki asked as he yawned. "That was very predictable, Cloud."

"Yeah!" Barret chimed in as he snorted. "It's supposed to be a scary story!"

"...You know of something scarier?" the blonde swordsman asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking like a put-off chocobo. It truly was an amusing sight, Vincent thought.

"Naturally! It starts like this... There once was a man from Nantucket..."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Cid laughed as he looked at the larger man.

"...Isn't that a limerick and not a horror story?" the red-furred beast cut in. It could have been, for all the brunette man knew; being trapped in a coffin in an abandoned house did have a negative impact on his social knowledge, after all. Vincent watched as Cid finished off the limerick, ears picking up the shuffling from the ghosts and ghouls that lumbered around in the basement of the ShinRa Manor just before lightening crackled overhead, illuminating the dusty floor that they were sitting on and adding a moment of light in the room, letting them see beyond the light of Cloud's flashlight for a mere moment.

"It is," Cid snorted with a smirk. "Once was a man from Nantucket, who cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it!" Ain't exactly a horror story there, Barret." Vincent raised an eyebrow at the story. Other than the slight homoerotic undertones and lewd lines, there was little about that story that could be considered a horror story.

Huffing, the large gunner nodded to the leather-wearing brunette, "You tell a story, you giant spook."

"...Unless you want to hear about Hojo and Lucrecia, I do not have a terrifying story," the gunner asked somberly. Honestly, did no one in the group know how to tell a tale to give everyone a good freight? It was the only reason that he agreed to come into the haunted mansion and sit on the dirty floor in the piano room while the women in their group went on shopping sprees. Barret wanted to be proclaimed as the "King of Horror."

"Yer all fuckin' pansies," Cid snorted with a large grin. "Ain't got a pair of balls between all of ya."

"Oh, like you have a pair?" Barret asked as he leaned back.

"Do share, Captain," Nanaki added as the other two men nodded.

"Fine, don't blame me when ya sissies run off screamin' an' pissin' yerselves," the pilot said before cracking his knuckles. "A long time ago, this young girl an' her family moved into a little town much like this shithole. She didn't want to go; parents got transferred so she was dragged away from her hometown and forced to start a whole new life in a new place. The buildin' was dirty and beat up, not somethin' a girl wants to move into. When her parents got everything settled in the house, the girl kept feelin' that something was wrong; that she needed to turn the fuck 'round and go back to her old home half a world away." Vincent nodded as the blonde spoke, his voice less abrasive as he spoke while the ghouls seemed to move closer at the tale he was telling.

"She felt dismissed when her parents told her that she was just feeling homesick about their old house and would grow into it. A few days later, once everythin' was unpacked, the girl went about discoverin' everythin' that the town had to offer, often gettin' looks when she walked down the street. Ignorin' them, she wandered into the library and picked out a few books before takin' them back to her new house. Lyin' on her bed, she read a few chapters on the book before fallin' asleep, wakin' up hours later to an ear shatterin' scream." A loud wail tore through the air, making Cid grin while his teammates jumped. Reaching into his holster, Vincent slowly pulled Cerberus free from its holster before clicking back the safety.

"Just a ghoul," Nanaki commented. "Carry on, Captain."

Nodding, the pilot continued to speak, "Scramblin' to her feet, the girl ran out of her room and came to find the hallway of her new home streaked with blood. Instead of calling the police, like any sane person, the girl followed on end of the trail of blood to the bathroom, faintin' when she saw a dark haired woman standing in the middle of the room holdin' a bloody knife while her parents lied on the tiled floor in hacked pieces; limbs in odd angles and organs spilled across the blood soaked floor like marbles dropped on the ground." Cloud paled at the odd description as Nanaki slowly moved closer to Barret, the larger man petting the beast slowly.

"Wakin' up hours later, the panickin' girl looked 'round to find the bodies missing, blood clingin' to her clothes and skin as she sobbed and ran for help. After trippin' down the stairs, the girl stared up with watery eyes at the dark-haired woman that she saw standin' in the bathroom. Hauntin' eyes stared back at the girl as a sweet smile curved across her pale lips, fingers moving in a gesture to have the young girl follow her. So, the young girl rose to her feet and followed the silent woman back up to the bathroom, blinking up at her when she stood before the mirror. Reaching out, the older chick gently grabbed her by her arms and steered the girl to stand in front of the mirror. Peerin' into the reflective surface, the girl could only see herself in the mirror as the woman behind her handed her a bloody blade, murmuring soft words in her ear."

Smirking malevolently, Cid leaned as he spoke in an eerie voice that sent chills up the other men's spines. ""Do it," the woman said with a sweet smile. Noddin', the girl lifted the knife up to her face," the blonde continued, hands moving to display the actions. Everyone's eyes were on the pilot as he spoke, the majority open wide and unblinking as they watched him and a dark figure moving behind the Captain. "And pressed the sharp blade against the delicate skin right under her left eye. Takin' a slow breath and lettin' out an ungodly wail, she plunged the knife into her face-"

A gunshot rang out at the same time as a loud shriek directly behind Cid, making the group jump as the ex-Turk smirked, tucking Cerberus back into its holster while the body fell to the ground. "Please, continue, Chief," the brunette said softly as lightening crackled overhead, the blonde pilot laughing.

"Uh...perhaps we should get a room at the inn, instead?" Cloud offered as his glowing eyes looked around the room.

"I second that!" Barret said as he rose to his feet, pointing at Cid. "And you're getting your own room, fool!"

"Pussies!" Cid laughed as they packed up their supplies.

"It was quite a frightening tale, Captain," Nanaki said as he walked out of the deserted building with the group of men and into the down pouring rain.

"Indeed," Vincent said as his eyes watched the pilot with a mischievous glow. "How will I ever get some rest tonight? ...I doubt I will be able to sleep alone."

"Heh, want to make all of Barret's nightmares come true?" Cid asked as he winked at the brunette man, blue eyes shining brightly as he grinned.

Long live the King...

Review and let me know what you thought.


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